Love you too
by Itanohira
Summary: "...you take my breath away." It was a perfect wedding, too perfect for Antonio's tastes. Spamano.
1. Love you too

Ohh~ have you read justkissmeidiot 's fics? They're absolutely positively WONDERFUL. Well, if you can read the most heart wrenching angst that is. ;DDD You should still read it, though.

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><p><strong>.<strong>

**Love you too**

**.**

Antonio smiles at Lovino - the perfect 'bride' - fully dressed in white and face slightly tinted red when the Italian realizes he had been staring at him; he gives a small smile, bashful and totally unlike his irascible temperment, back at the Spaniard. Antonio doesn't even notice that he's walking towards Lovino and before he knows it, he's opening his mouth to speak.

"Y-You look very...beautiful, Lovi." Lovino's face flushes and he immediately looks down. Antonio can hear him mutter a soft 'bastard', but he's knows that that's really his way of saying 'thank-you'. They both look down for a fleeting moment and they both look up at the same time, mouths open to speak.

"You first," Lovino looks down again, unusually bashful.

"It's just that you're so..." Antonio pauses, and gently cups his hand against a contrastingly pale cheek. "...you take my breath away."

The smaller man gently swats his chest, and let's his hand stay where it landed. Lovino looks up, gold eyes shiny with unshed tears. "Antonio...I..." He stops, unable to voice his feelings out.

Antonio just nods understandingly, and gently pets his head, taking a step back. A small tear slides down Lovino's wide eyes, and Antonio begins to coo that it's okay, and that a bride ('"Groom", Lovino stutters out) shouldn't cry on such a happy day. "You'd make a wonderful husband." Lovino grumbles. Antonio laughs. It's almost as if they're the only ones in the room, and -

- they both feel free.

"And you'd make a wonderful bride." Antonio says, and they both go into companionable silence. Lovino takes his hand in his, and squeezes. Antonio squeezes back.

Hands still twined together,he leads them to an outside terrace, earning a confused glance from the Italian and gently leads him into a slow waltz. They sync in with the music playing inside, and Lovino lays his head against his love's chest and let's his eyes close as he listens to the heart beating underneath. Antonio rests his head on top of the other's as they step _one-two-three, one-two-three. _It continues on even when the music ends, and the people inside clap.

_one-two-three_

__one-two-three__

_one-two-_

They stop abruptly, and Lovino tightens his hold on Antonio's hand, but Antonio gently pries the hand away, and leads them back inside.

"I love you, you know." Lovino says, trying to act acting nonchalant, but the tears in his eyes say otherwise.

"Love you too." Antonio whispers, just loudly enough for Lovino to hear it. Lovino makes a soft hiccuping-sobbing noise and presses his other hand to his mouth in an attempt to stop the noises.

He knows what Lovino wanted to say when the Italian had first looked up at him with those unshed tears.

He stopped him because he didn't want to feel his heart - nor Lovino's - break again.

_I'm so sorry._

_So sorry._

_So, so sorry that we couldn't be together._

And he gently hugs Lovino, and watches as he walks across the room to his new husband, who should of been him.

* * *

><p>ackack emotional backslap.<p>

**basically, I made it seem like Lovino is getting married to Antonio, where actually, Lovino is getting married off to another man, and Antonio is saying his goodbye, in a way.**

Those three lines in the end with italics is what Lovino tried to say to Antonio in the beginning. I'm thinking of giving this a second chapter...don't know, though. What do you guys want?


	2. So, so Sorry

Haha, I really _did_ decide to make a second chapter...and since I did, I decided to make it into a three chapter fic. ...and I also decided to make the husband anon. Thank you so much reviewers! I love you guys so much!

THANKS SOOOOOO MUCH JUSTKISSMEIDIOT FOR HELPING MEEEEEEEE~ I appreciate it very much, and so this is dedicated to youuuuuuu~!

And...I decided to make this into a three-shot, and I'm currently working on the last chapter right now! Thanks for reading!

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><p><strong>.<strong>

**So, so sorry**

**.**

He was married off for money.

His Husband was nice to him - but it was never more than that - nothing deeper. When family was over at their house, his husband might gently kiss the Italian's cheek, maybe rub his hand, but nothing more.

For that, Lovino was grateful.

Antonio...he missed him. Missed him so much. Lovino missed his childish, cheerful gestures and laugh, he even mumbled his name as he slept at night ("Whose Antonio?" his Husband would ask. "Why? Oh, you were mumbling it last night..."), he cherished their last moments together.

Months passed by, and his ache only grew.

And although he thought he would despise his husband, he's...actually grown to see him as a platonic friend; though he has a feeling his husband has stronger feelings for him now that they've lived together for so long.

But he doesn't know the real Lovino.

His husband showers him with affection; he kisses Lovino more frequently, and gives him heartfelt smiles more often. It wasn't what Lovino had been wanting - craving, though.

His husband loved to give him gifts, he gave him anything he wanted when he would ask for it (Lovino never had the guts to tell him what he really wanted). To be frank, finding out that his husband might be falling in love with this pseudo him scared him.

"I love you." he would say. Lovino never responded.

It's been a year since they have been married and they celebrate with drinks. 5-drinks-too-many later his husband shyly asks - for the first time - to have sex. Weeks later, when he thinks about this night, he still doesn't know why he agreed so easily. Maybe it was the loneliness. Maybe it was the drinks. It was probably both.

It's messy and it doesn't feel right as his husband gently handles him - he's never rough - as he thrusts into Lovino's limp body. For a moment or two, Lovno forgets; forgets that he's not with Antonio anymore, and the short times when he does realize he isn't, he burns with a powerful self loathing. Though seconds after he remembers, he forgets again, and it's a vicious cycle that he can't seem to get out of that night.

He vaguely remembers moaning "Ah- An-Antonio!" when he climaxes. Even in his drunken stupor he sees the hurt and realization dawning on his husband's face.

The next morning Lovino wakes up naked, his limbs tangled with his husband's. That morning, Lovino drowns in guilt.

He slept with another man.

_What would Antonio think?_

He feels ashamed, dirty. All he wants to do so badly is to cry but he doesn't want his husband to see, doesn't want anyone to see. He doesn't feel like the old Lovino, the Lovino that was free and with Antonio. There's a numb pain when he sees how different, how un _Lovino_ he's become.

Later, he locks himself into the bathroom and bawls.

His husband picks up on his sadness, but doesn't quite forget _whose_ name the Italian had moaned out last night.

"You don't love me." It's a statement, a fact, and he says it in a defeated, broken voice. He stares right at Lovino, stricken. He let's out a harsh laugh, "So _that's_ who Antonio was."

"I'm sorry." Lovino mumbles; he can't quite look his husband in the eyes.

"...I can't help but still love you." his husband pauses, as if he wants to say more, but instead turns away, and leaves.

He can feel tears prickle at his eyes again - it's like_ deja vu_, except with all the wrong feelings. Lovino can't help but feel sorry for his husband, but in a way, he feels _disgustingly_ happy-

_-he _should_ feel what I'm feeling too. It's only fair. He should feel my pain, my suffering-_

-and he pushes the ugly thought away. It was irrational and bitter - especially since his husband was forced into this marriage too.

It's a year and a half after their marriage when someone breaks into their house. Nothing is stolen, and the only casualty was a window on the first floor, and there's no evidence left behind either. In a panic his husband hires numerous body guards to patrol the house all day.

One of them captures Lovino's attention.

Green eyes and wavy, dark hair.

Lovino almost begins to sob like an emotionally disturbed child when their eyes meet. Instead, he faints.

Lovino wakes up to the voice of someone familiar.

"Lo siento," the Spanish bodyguard says sheepishly when Lovino opens his eyes. His worried husband and the striking body guard stand around his bed. "I didn't mean to _surprise_ you." At first, Lovino doesn't believe it's him - _Antonio_. He doesn't say anything for a moment, he just gawks. His husband murmurs an 'Are you okay?' and gently strokes his hand, and pulls back when Lovino closes his mouth and nods stiffly.

His husband gives Lovino a relieved smile, and says something about paperwork and gently kisses Lovino before getting up. Lovino doesn't miss the quick, but pointed glare the body guard gave the other man.

Then, his husband walks out, closing the door with a resolute thud, leaving the pair in silence.

Lovino can't stop looking at the body guard. The body guard seems to have the same problem.

"Antonio..." he breathes out. "...is it really-?" He's cut off by a hot, amorous kiss, unmitigated zeal burning his insides as Antonio nearly devours him.

_Yes_, this is what he's been wanting - waiting - for so long. He didn't think it would ever come.

"It's you." the Italian gasps, out of breath as they pull apart slowly, a near invisible string of saliva connecting their lips.

Something wet snakes itself down Lovino's face as Antonio's eyes say it all: 'Yes, it's me, I'm here'.

Yes, yes, _yes_.

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><p>This was sooo fun to write~<p>

Except for the sad parts of course. (Oh who am I kidding it was all fun *shot*) Aaaaand the **next and last chapter** is coming up~! How do you feel about the random thief coming in? He/She seems pointless now, but trust me, he/she will be completely beneficial to the plot. I think. Was the plot going by too quickly? I honestly think it was too...ugh. lol (orz)

Oh, and to anon reviewers~!

**MakenshiCrona**:

R...really? Did it? Now _you're _making me cry! Thanks so much! :DDD

**spamano till the end**:

haha...sorry about not making him abusive...I _was_ thinking about it, but I wanted to do something different~ Thanks for Reviewing! ;D


	3. Smile, Lovely

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! THIS IS MY GIFT TO YOU THAT CAN BE COMPARED TO ME GIVING YOU AN OLD CRUMPLED UP VALENTINE I WORKED REALLY HARD ON. Thanks for the support everyone!

It's the end. I _was_ going to get this out sooner, but...I was too busy. Oh who am I kidding, we all know that's a big fat lie. Halfway through I (almost) flipped the table over like (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻, but my puny arms couldn't do anything so my temper went like _bam!_ and then I did (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ . Aw. So I just put the table back and continued typing. I think my mom saw. Okay, onto the chapter~!

...I tried rereading the first and second chapters...I couldn't. (ackack it's just rambling from now here on...you can skip ahead to the story now ಥ‿ಥ) The first chapter was too fast-paced and was a little unclear (I'm so sorry dear readers!) and then the second chapter was the same too, only slightly longer. And the ending sucked. And I used alcohol to make the plot progress (poor Lovi!), and it was a little unrealistic. And...yeah. Okay. Sorry for the hold up. asdfjajieasdasfae4v111

**THANKS TO:**

**ALL OF MY READERS! YOU GUYS ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU! **-You guys make me so happy- I can't say how much you influenced me into making the second and third chapters!

**And to justkissmeidiot who was a great help with the plot! I couldn't of done this without you deaaaaaaarrrrr~**

Anon Reply:

spamano till the end : No problem! Spamano makes me so happy too, especially with their personality combo (ohhh~ makes me want to write more spamano~~)!

MakenshiCrona : Aw~ Thanks so much! You'll find out more about the thief more in this last chapter!

And to my last Anon reviewer...I have no idea what to call you~ Haha, sorry, to be frank, I was staring at your anon name (rather, lack of name!) for quite some time! I'm glad you left a review though! And thank you for your opinion!

Listening to:

Cantarella [ Music Box ver. ] - カンタレラをオルゴールにしてみたれら

and

【オリジナルPV】ハッピーシンセサイザ 歌ってみた。

**Oh yeah, the beginning of this chapter takes place a week after the end of the second chapter, so they've been seeing each other secretly for 8 days, including that first day, to clear things up.** :3

...and I'm sorry for ooc Lovino. I guess I wanted to do a broken Lovino. WAGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHsosorry

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><p><strong>.<strong>

**Smile for Me**

**.**

His husband believed their relationship was improving.

Lovino didn't have the guts, nor the heart to tell his husband about the reason behind his good mood.

_Antonio._

They had been seeing each other everyday, in the large garden in the back, in the kitchen pantry, an empty guest room, anywhere they could find without getting caught. Lovino worried his lip, looking down. Today they had met in the garden.

"Lovi?" the Italian looked up at him. As soon as Antonio saw the feelings flitting on his face, he knew something was off. "What's wrong?"

"...Nothing." Lovino balanced on the tips of his toes and kissed Antonio's cheek. "Nothing." he repeated. Antonio let a frown grace his features for a split second - but as soon as it came it went. He gently plucked a flower from one of the side bushes and offered it to Lovino with a smile. Lovino blushed as he accepted and gave him another kiss. They broke apart slowly, albeit reluctantly. "I have to go soon." Antonio held him tightly, burying his face into his auburn locks. "I'm sorry we couldn't have more time."

Lovino clutched onto the low quality suit, pressing himself against him, breathing in deeply. "Be safe, or I'll kill you, bastard." The Italian bitterly smiled against his chest.

"Of course." Antonio wrapped his arms around the smaller man. "Anything for you."

-x-

The thief had struck again later that night. The next morning they had found one of his husband's expensive oil paintings had been stolen, the only part of it left was the frame that held it the night before on the wall, awkwardly in place without it's portrait.

"I'm glad no one was hurt." His husband confessed to him when Lovino had stopped by his study. "I just wish the thief had been caught..."

The Italian took slowly sat on the love seat across from his husband's desk. "I'm...glad no one was hurt either." _Especially Antonio._ He gave a glance to his husband. "Do...do you think he'll strike again?"

"I do." His husband ruffled his thick hair with his hand, frowning; Lovino recognizes it as one of his stressed habits. His husband shifted, and holds his gaze longer than Lovino deemed comfortable.

"Would you want to take a walk with me?" Lovino wanted to object, since he and Antonio had planned to meet at around this time but didn't say anything. He couldn't bear the overwhelming guilt from watching his husband be like this when Lovino was being unfaithful to him.

"Of course." His husband gets up from his desk and offers Lovino a hand. Lovino complies and they walk out into the garden.

-x-

Lovino follows his husband a step behind, his hand still being held by the other. They stop in the same area he and Antonio had met the day before - _the irony_ - and Lovino gives a slightly expectant look at his husband, and is completely caught off guard when his husband takes his face and suddenly their lips are connected. Lovino begins to struggle, and pushes the other man away.

"I-I'm sorry." his husband says and Lovino can't help but be slapped in the face by the expression on his husband's face. "I shouldn't of-"

"No!" Lovino cried out. "I'm sorry - I just -"

"It's okay." His husband says soothingly, he reaches out as if he was about to stroke his hair but stops midway. Lovino hears him let out a barely audible sigh. The Italian bites his lip, _hard_ - he could taste the blood - and stays where he's at.

"I'm sorry." Lovino whispers. His husband leaves him, walking silently away.

Lovino turns, and is startled to meet a solemn Antonio.

-x-

It's nighttime again, and Lovino can't sleep; he was too worried for Antonio to actually close his eyes, let alone sleep. He counts sheep -

_one, two, three -_

_- ninety-four, ninety-five, ninety-six -_

He blinks slowly, and turns to face his husband, wanting to see if he's awake - and -

-he's not there. Lovino quickly sits up, looking around the inky black room, and calls out for his husband. He stands up sluggishly, drowsily tilting to the side - of all times to be sleepy, it_ just_ had to be now - and he took a couple steps forward, trying to shake the sleep out of his system. He calls out for Antonio this time, and gently presses his palm against the slightly ajar door. It opens easily, and Lovino quietly walks out.

The large windows in the hallway let in milky light into the otherwise dark hall. "Anyone?" he hears his voice echo back to him ominously. Shouldn't some guards be patrolling the area?

He continues on, looking for a sign of Antonio, even of his husband. Walking through the West wing, the Italian feels something, no, _someone_ pass behind his back. He whips around, his hair momentarily blinding him. He catches a glimpse of someone dressed in black, and he blinks. As he opens his eyes, the person in black is rushing straight at him, something dull and silver in the other's grasp. Lovino stumbles back sluggishly, and falls back, shouting for help.

The thief, alarmed by his sudden outburst turns and dashes in the opposite direction, leaving the shocked Lovino on the floor as Antonio, his husband and a few guards come over.

"Did you see him?" one of the guards ask, but the Italian doesn't answer. His husband looks into his eyes, a worried look plastered onto his handsome face. Lovino looks down, feeling his blood and adrenaline pump through his body in erratic pulses.

"No." he says suddenly, and stands up shakily. "I didn't see him." He stays silent, and ignores his husband's confusion and Antonio's troubled look.

Lovino hasn't felt like this in a long time.

-x-

It's a rush, this feeling.

It's not the same as how he feels when he's with Antonio, no. It's an agitated, adrenaline pumping, rush of life, and the last time Lovino has ever felt this way was when he had been arguing with his grandfather about the marriage.

Though, there is one similarity between this feeling and the way he feels when he's with Antonio.

He feels so much like himself, before his marriage.

And it feels _great_.

-x-

The thief doesn't come back for a week, and it's a Tuesday when he comes back, and Lovino is waiting for him.

"Hey, you, bastard." He calls out, stepping out of the shadows and into the flood of moonlight pouring into the hallway. The thief turns, alerted. A small, part of his consciousness screams at him to run, and _ what the hell are you doing, call for help!_

He ignores it, and continues taunting the thief.

"I could kill you." The thief states coolly. His voice is deep, and Lovino can't help but suppress a shiver. "Why don't you yell for help, before I do?" It's a question, not a threat, and Lovino feels his voice get caught in his throat.

"I-I don't know." He says honestly. _Why doesn't he scream for help? _And it comes back again, the reason. It's the addicting rush, the feeling. He stands his ground, staring evenly into the thief's eyes.

It's strange. He doesn't know if he should cuss the thief out or run away. He internally shakes his head and growls. "You better fucking leave this house alone." He says quietly, but the sharp edge he's used to win many arguments is still there, like a blade wrapped in thin cloth. The thief raises an eyebrow, and something akin to a smirk graces his features.

"Not so soft and timid anymore, hmm?" The thief shifts his weight to the other foot, and takes a step back. After all, he wasn't here to chit-chat with Italians. "But really, you're all bark with no bite."

The thief turns and dashes away, and Lovino follows suit. The other turns sharply, and as Lovino begins to turn to, the thief, who had pressed against the wall after turning, quickly knocks Lovino out with a swift chop to the back of his neck.

Everything turns black.

When he wakes up, he's staring into bright green orbs.

He blinks owlishly, and is surprised when Antonio hugs him tightly to his toned chest.

"Lovi. Lovi, Lovi, Lovino." The Italian feels Antonio bury his face into his hair, breathing in deeply. "I was so afraid..."

Lovino lets his eyes close slowly, his hand reaching up the pet the Spaniards dark hair. Before his eyes shut completely, he sees his husband stare solemnly at them from the other side of the hallway.

Lovino can't bring himself to care.

-x-

It's another week, and the Lovino and the thief meet again.

Lovino scoffs at the guards' horrible job at keeping the thief out. The thief doesn't seem to be too happy either, but for an entirely different reason.

"I'm tired of you." The thief growls. Lovino keeps his stiff posture. "As _fun_ as it is to have these little chats, they aren't what I came here for, and frankly, I think you might know where this thing is."

Lovino raised an eyebrow. "If you wanted to know where it was, why didn't you force me to tell you where it was last week? Or the week before?" He feels his body tense as he gets ready to run.

"Your husband is much more smarter than I thought he was," The thief eyes his body language, and takes a step forward as Lovino takes one back. "And you probably know where it is."

Lovino doesn't waste any time; he turns tail and runs, until a large hand closes around throat, and he gags. Something hard and cold presses against his back, and a telltale click tells Lovino that a gun is pressed against him.

"Now, tell me, or-"

"LOVINO!" Lovino inwardly panics as Antonio tackles the thief, pushing Lovino away.

"Antonio!" he screams. "He has a gun!"

Antonio doesn't hesitate as he pulls out his own gun. Lovino's heart skips a beat as he watches the two men point guns at each other.

The thieft scowls as he shifts his gun to point at Lovino, and pulls the trigger, the explosive noise of the bullet exiting the barrel shattering the silence. Antonio yells as he runs in front of Lovino, who is frozen to the spot.

_BANG!_

Lovino's eyes are closed when he falls to the ground, and he feels warm liquid drip down his face. "A-Antonio...?"

A hand weak, wet with blood, shakily caresses his face. Sobs begin to erupt from Lovino as he refuses to open his eyes. He blindly reaches for Antonio, holding him close, feeling his weakening hearbeat flutter erratically against his chest.

"I'm s-sorry." He sobs brokenly, and he opens his eyes to see his wounded love -

-x-

_It's a year after his death, yet it seems much longer, almost as if he's been dead and gone for decades._

_Lovino feels old as he stares solemnly at the beautiful tombstone, marking the grave. He buries his head against his husband 's chest, tears burning the corners of his eyes. If only he had yelled for help or tried to stop the thief earlier instead of fooling around, this could of been avoided. _

_His husband wraps a comforting arm around Lovino, murmuring soft words of comfort. Lovino continues to cry silently, gripping his husband's suit. He let's his husband hug him tightly, and silently thanks his for it._

_After his sobs quiet down, he pushes away gently, and his husband drops his arms and let's Lovino kneel against the tombstone. _

_His forehead presses against the cool marble slab, and his fingers dig into the soft earth. His husband watches from behind respectfully, staying silent as to let Lovino have his time. _

_Lovino closes his eyes, his tears ceasing as his hand lifts and presses against the gravestone._

_"Thank you," he chokes out. "Thank you."_

-x-

His husband.

His husband lay in his bloody arms, not Antonio. He feels elated and terrified at the same time, and he's breaking, his heart's breaking for the man he couldn't love back. He chokes out his husband's name and fresh tears streak down his face.

"It...was worth it." His husband says, smiling weakly. He coughs to the side, splattering blood onto the white carpet. "I really did love you."

Lovino nods, shaking, and feels his husband's thumb weakly rub against his cheek. "...I want you...to be happy...with him..." his hand gestures to Antonio weakly, and then closes his eyes, sighing breathlessly, but coughs halfway through, and it's a horrible cough, rattly and Lovino can't help but think how the bullet has punctured his lung. "So smile..."

Lovino shakes as he tries to smile a bright as he can, and his husband's eyes begin to dim as he returns a gentle smile.

"Thank you..."

-x-

_He and Antonio link hands as they walk out the gated entrance of Lovino's past husband's memorial. _

_They stay silent as they continue to walk on, and Lovino leans his head onto Antonio's chest._

_He smiles, and continues to walk on._

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><p>urghhh horrible ending is REALLY HORRIBLE.<p>

Oh gawd I don't know I tried to make some kind of deep emotion like thing (aghghghhgg what am I saying?) and I think it turned out cliched and horrible, and wierd, and confusing, and did I mention horrible?

And also: I'd really want to make a heartfelt thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, favorited, and alerted this story. I love you guys so much. I'm gonna go sob (happily) in a corner now.

**To make it clear:**

The first italic area near the end is the year after the incident where the thief shoots someone. You see, Antonio never dies, and in the area after the first italic area, it's continuing right after the "He sobs brokenly, and he opens his eyes to see his wounded love -" to make it _seem_ like Antonio died. But he didn't. Lovino's husband died instead, and the 'husband' is Antonio in the italic area, heheh.

AND ALSO

Basically, Lovino doesn't yell for help or anything when the thief comes over the second time because of the 'rush' he gets from approaching the thief. It kinda makes him feel like himself (ex: how hot headed he is, and stuff, basically he toned down A LOT during his marriage with his husband, and these encounters bring back his irascible temperment). I hope that makes sense. .w.;;;;;; I think the way I wrote it gave the reader the entirely wrong kind of impression...sigh

ranting:

asfajewfioavhn ewninuqoiw vn 2jciryb !111!1111oneonetwo!31111

...

AGH. Sorry for such a cliched and suck-ish ending to this...! I feel so sorry for Lovino's husband! He was such a good guy too!


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